Weight loss...

I've battled with my weight my entire life.  I was so proud of myself when I had lost 60 pounds 10 years ago.  I looked incredibly, felt great and then life took over and I gained it all back.

It was a pretty easy decision to join the Biggest Loser competition at church in September.  What better motivator than a $1000 (although when I first signed up, I was told the pot was close to $1600) so that was what kept me motivated.  It's easy to not eat and work out when you think you could win a ton of money.  Even though I didn't win the money, I lost 43.4 pounds.  That in itself is a huge accomplishment. And I'm really proud of myself for being able to do it.

But... I've fallen off the wagon and can't seem to get motivated enough to stay on track.  I sat and talked to my daughter and her mother-in-law on Sunday afternoon about having gained close to 10 pounds of my weight back. And it does not make me happy to have to admit that.  I can't tell in my clothes, but I can see it in my face.  I weigh every morning, and I tell myself I'm going to be good that day and stay within my WW points and every day I eat whatever I want and then tell myself... tomorrow.  Only tomorrow never comes, because that same routine starts over the next morning.  Every day is the same and each day the pounds creep back on in increments of 2/10 of a pound, but all those 2/10 add up after a little while.  It seems to have become a very vicious cycle.  And I hate it!  I'm pretty disgusted with myself right now.

I decided I was going to have someone hold me accountable.  So I sent my weight to Sylvia (Merissa's mother-in-law) so she can hold me accountable.  I believe she will do it in love, I'm counting on her doing it.  I told her I was going to breakfast this morning and one of her text's said "it is good enough for fat clothes?" when I said that I had heard the food was really good at the place we were going.  In all honesty the food was really, really good... but not good enough to put my fat clothes back on.  :)

I was bad at breakfast and ate all of it.  I think I made some wise choices though.  Ham is less calories so I ordered a plate of ham and eggs with potatoes, the only downfall was the biscuits and gravy... it was chocolate gravy.  And oh my it was soooo good.  I just had dinner of spaghetti and a big bowl of mixed veggies.  So I've been a good girl today.  Hopefully my scale will reflect that tomorrow morning, I'll be happy with a loss of 2/10 of a pound.

I knew going into the competition that maintaining the weight loss was going to be the harder part and it most definitely has been.  If I stay on the track of slowly gaining weight, in just a few months I'll be back to where I was.  And I don't want to go back there... I'm so much happier and feel so much better where I'm at.

My original goal had been to lose 40 pounds, maintain it for 6 months and then lose another 20 pounds.  Since I've gained 10 pounds, I now have to lose 30 pounds.  Hhhmm... that's do-able, I just need to stay as motivated every as I was during the Biggest Loser challenge.

If you're reading this and you pray... please ask God to give me the strength to stay on track and lose what I need to lose.

In deciding to write this blog, I've now decided what I'm going to blog about on a regular basis.  My weight loss.  I let you know how it's going.

Cindy